Wednesday, October 27, 2004

I just don't get it

If you're not in the mood to hear me whine, then go and read my last post. Otherwise, settle in. It's Pink Stiletto and the same damn thing she's posted about for the past two months.

I'm having a really hard day waiting. Today is one of those days when, due to a number of circumstances, absolutely nothing can happen on the job front. That's just how it is. And I'm having a really hard time coping. REALLY HARD.

There is a knot in my stomach. I'm nervous about the fact that the big championship game will be held here in a couple of years, and what that really does mean to my chances. I'm a young woman -- fully capable, more than adequately qualified. But this is a classic Old Boys Club (aren't all sports teams, though?) and they simply may not see past the fact that I'm a woman. To use a tired sports cliche, and considering the circumstances a bad pun, it would have been hard to "crack the lineup" before this big announcement, never mind now.

It's just so hard to wait when you don't know WHY you're waiting, or even what you're waiting for. I don't know the divine purpose behind waiting. That's if there is a divine purpose here that has anything to do with me. It may not. I may be placing too much on God here. Am I waiting for an interview? Or am I waiting for the rejection? It's so close but so. far. away.

Not to mention, it's really hard to sit at my desk all bloody day long with nothing to do. I need something to take my MIND off of all of this. With nothing meaningful to concentrate on, I have nothing to do BUT think about what I'd rather be doing.

That, and repeating the same damn post over and over and over and over...

Help! That's it. I just need help.

Also? If any of you are in Fargo? I'll be there this weekend. Doing some cross-border shopping before a nice feeding at the Outback, and a drunken evening in a hotel room. I hope.