Wednesday, October 20, 2004

You don't know when the outhouse is going to float up.

Remember in the Tom Hanks movie, Castaway, when it was a foregone conclusion that he was going to die alone on that island... then the broken outhouse floated up? He turned it into a raft and floated into the middle of the ocean, and a cargo ship found him and saved him.

It's a big metaphor, right? Don't give up, you never know what's around the corner. Even when all hope is lost, things can happen that your wildest imagination couldn't conjur up.

I will tell you, it's pretty bloody hard to keep positive for months at a time. There is a point at which you stop being able to see that something COULD happen, and you start to resign yourself to the fact that nothing will ever happen. It's far easier to imagine the worst than to keep hoping for the best. Hope takes a lot of energy and a lot of trust, and it can end in a whole lot of hurt and disappointment. Negativity, on the other hand, can easily spiral out of control without any real prompting or help. You can see which road tends to win.

Where is this leading?

I have an interview. Oh yes. An interview. No, it's not with The Job, but it's with a damn good second choice.

This after I have spent a miserable week feeling horribly defeated, ready to give up my dreams of a great career and a house and all of that. I wonder if it's God saying, "Would you just shut UP already? Geez. Be patient, it's not on your schedule woman. Grab some patience. But since I'm sick of the whining, here, this should shut you up." I don't think God's quite so snippy, but... I would be if I were Him.

Anyway. I have this interview. The problem is that this job is another contract. One year. Though, I do have it on good authority that the person who is leaving that job for the one-year, has little intention of returning. (The good authority is the person herself. I would think that's about as good as it gets as far as authenticity goes.) She's having a baby, you see, but in order to get compensated while on her maternity leave, she can't just quit her job -- she has to take the official leave.

Still, you never can tell what might happen. She might hate motherhood and want to return immediately. Who knows.

The point is... while there is no guarantee that I'll actually be offered the job out of this interview, the fact is, I have hope again. Sad that I wasn't able to muster it up on my own... so I thank God for helping me out. It was getting pretty bad.

Of course, I'm still waiting to hear about The Job. We are potentially two weeks away from them actually dealing with it (due to pla&y&of.fs and such), and if it comes down to it, The Job wins regardless. And THAT presents an uncomfortable situation. But in the spirit of just being happy for what's in front of me, I'm not thinking about it right now. Because, really, I STILL have no idea what my chances are with The Job. Could be big, could be negligible.

But that's okay, because I have an interview for a very good second choice. Time to pick an outfit.
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