Tuesday, April 19, 2005

We're on a break?

What does that mean, "We're on a break."

Broken up? Or just having space, but still having a commitment?

Hard to say. I guess it depends on the spirit in which the break was initiated. This break, I'd say, is of the latter category: commitment with 100% space. No communication, no contact, nothing.

Absolute silence.

But I'm not sure what's happening on the commitment end. What would I do if it really was a temporary break-up, with all of the things that go along with being single? What would I want to do? Would I be handling the break as well as I am now?

Or would I be doing my usual over-reacting bit, assuming it's actually a permanent "break up", but one being just hidden from me for any number of conspiracy-like reasons?

I have no idea. All I know is that we're on a break. I'll get back to you if I ever figure out what that means.

Let's hope I don't do something stupid due to wrong assumptions about it.
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

And so it sits.

First off, for those of you who have been following since the inception of Stilettos and Beer, it's finally done:

I did not get The Job.

Surprisingly, I'm not even really upset.

(Though that's probably because my engagement is off, and my now-former fiance isn't sure if he wants to spend even another Saturday night with me, let alone a lifetime. Obviously I have more pressing things to worry about.)

It's so pleasant.

I don't want a comments box full of, "I'm so sorry..." sentiments. I brought this on myself, and now I have to clean up my own mess.

As for The Job, I'm trying to convince myself that it wouldn't have been as good as I would have hoped. Considering it would have been a 10K cut from my last job, and a $5K cut from my present job... maybe not that far a stretch.

Anyway... just trying to figure things out now.

Also? I'm pissed off because the temporary roommate I have ate all of my bananas and my bread while I was in Toronto this weekend.

Jerk.
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Monday, April 04, 2005

Mistakes

I have made the biggest mistake of my life.

It may have cost me the one person who I love more than anything on this planet.

I can't undo this and I am terrified about what my life is going to look like when the dust settles.

You likely won't hear from me for a while.

There is too much to sort out.
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